Do you know how to attract what you want? When you go out, do people approach you and want to talk? Or do you feel invisible? Are you confused about how some folks have no trouble attracting whom and what they want effortlessly?

Experts would say that some people have a magnetic quality called the "IT Factor". "IT" is a natural resource we all have, also known as charisma. But some people have more access to IT than others. How can you develop your IT Factor? Here are five secrets:

*Confidence

This quality plays a huge role of importance in how sparkling you feel and the kind of energy you give off. Confidence is not something others give you--it is something you earn. What are you good at? If you don't know, you need to work at finding out. Being good at something builds the foundation on which you can stand.

*Organization

In a topsy turvy world, you know more than ever that the only thing you have any control over is yourself. One of the ways you can get a sense of control over your world is to be organized. Start with one drawer, one closet, and eventually, one room at a time and get your living space cleaned up and manageable.

*Expression

People with the "IT Factor" are expressive and passionate about what they are doing. They use descriptive words to explain what they are talking about. They know that the expression of emotions or ideas through gestures and telling stories makes others feel closer to you. If you want to learn how to relate to people better, use anecdotes to describe your life or yourself. If you say, "My dog is funny," that doesn't give people a picture of what is unique about your dog. But if you say, "My dog has hair like a Brillo pad, has one ear pointing up and the other pointing down, and if someone rings the doorbell, he growls and barks at me!"

*Excitement

If you want to double your "IT Factor" talk about what you love. Many people come to coaching with a long face and a monotone voice. Once they discover what work or activities they are crazy about, and they start to DO some of them, their entire presence shifts. They have an enthusiastic attitude and their physical appearance changes. Their fac becomes broader as they smile more. Where they were once looking dragged down by the weight of their life, they begin to look lighter, energetic, and bouyant.

*Being present

The "IT Factor" requires that wherever you go, you are there. When you have "IT", you enjoy yourself whether you are in a small town or a big city; working or playing; socializing or staying at home alone. If you are not content in most places, get some counseling so you can create a life you love.

Becoming charismatic is an inside job, beginning with how you honor your feelings, values, purpose, and talents. When you are on track for becoming someone you can be proud of, you will possess what everyone desperately wants--the "IT Factor."

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women?s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN?s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation